hell in paradise

so, ill try to stay away from yoga for a bit. just for one time.
besides thinking about it pretty much 99% of the time, there's something that's hanging out in my head for a while. it's cheesy and unnecessary to share. hopefully, someone will feel identified with me. we'll hug each other and feel lame.

doesn't it suck to be in paradise and to have nobody to share it with?
not even paradise. anything new.
i'm living in manly, right in front of the beach. i take the ferry everyday. so many cool places to visit in sydney. yes i love walking. yes i love doing touristy stuff. but i can't avoid that void. that face standing next to me. that someone i can turn to and say: 'did you see that crazy lady walking down the street?'. i can't really sit down at a bar and get a beer. mmm i guess we can call this 'lack-of-travel-partner syndrome'. i know i'll be ok. i'm being short minded. i know you are going to think im asking for way too much. but it's hard not think about it, isn't it?

i miss that someone i don't know yet.
whatever. i'll be ok. nothing to cry or worry about. it's more like walking with a little rock inside my shoe. it's always there. not too overwhealming. but always there. i just hope it doesn't turn into a rock!

whatever. i've got an ipod and a little voice inside me to chat with (guess why my blog is called thinking out loud?!?!) patience.... sure. just felt like writing about it.
if you are totally in love with someone pleeease don't send me some anesthesia (something like trust the future, be patient, it will come...) i know, I KNOW!

ill be ok. me and my yoga.